Yesterday was a day filled with Ecstacy (yellow), Joy (yellow), Delight (yellow), and every other happy based emotion there is. At 4:00pm yesterday the Taiwan Constitutional Court gave their ruling on a case that determined the status of same-sex marriage in Taiwan. Of 15 judges, 13 ruled in favor, one partially opposed and one opposed. Taiwan has become the first Asian country to legalize marriage equality.
On the bus ride to work, the tension in group chats was so high just before the announcement time. People who have fought so hard for their rights, for so very long, and all their supporters were on edge. By 4:15 the news was spreading like wildfire and my phone was blowing up with messages on group chats with happiness you could feel, even through symbols on a screen that make up words. So many describing all the tears of those around them from pure happiness and relief. All the tension from less than an hour before was washing it’s way through thousands of people.
Around 4:30 it began to rain, and I couldn’t help but just smile.
I feel Amazement (teal) and Serenity (yellow). I am getting into this game more than I expected I would. As of now, I have just been granted the ability to choose a class. I went with mage so I can throw fire balls at things. I’m going to try to get my avatar as close to an 8-bit red mage as I can, but it doesn’t look like I have many options.
Either way, my overall life is starting to improve. I have not found the motivation to write as much as I wanted, but the general tidiness of my house and my eating habits have improved. That alone should start to improve my energy which will hopefully translate into the other things. But…. right now I have goals of leveling up so I can learn new skills, buying armor and weapons, and a few little pets I want.
The problem I face with any game is what to do when I have achieved my goals. I’m four levels away from having all the skills, it’s not too hard to get the best armor and weapon, and I’m close to having all the pets I want. It will be interesting to see if there is some kind of “end game” content or something I can do to keep me going. For now though, I’m happy to finally be a mage, and that some areas of my life are in fact developing better habits.
It felt kind of sad that little numbers that give a value called “experience” to a digital avatar is more motivating than my health and well being… but when I think about my students it actually makes sense. Ask a kid to read, they don’t want to. Tell them it’s important for their life and future… they don’t care. Even college students struggle to do homework because it’s a chore. Change reading into a game, and they can’t get enough of it. We spend our childhoods learning how to play, and then we grow up and stop.
Why did we stop playing? Why do we view work and studies as chores when they could be games? At what point did we suck all the fun out of life and convince ourselves it was okay because we are now “grown ups”. Maybe it’s time to stop “adulting” and start playing again.
The adventure has begun! Quests have been accepted! Avatars have been damaged!
Today I feel a mix of Contempt (purple and red mixed) and Joy (yellow).
On one had, I got a lot of things done today. Dishes, some backed up recycling, and some admin stuff for work. Most of the habits I’m trying to work on (or keep going) are in the green. I gained a level, and got some gold. I assigned an amount of gold that an hour of “Reward Time” costs, and spent all of it. Now that I know how much gold I get in a day, I need to adjust that cost a bit, but overall it’s like a budget of time. I still worry a bit that getting left out of the monster fighting part might leave me bored with the game all too soon, but it’s on a good start.
On the other hand… all the things I did were things taking care of my general life and home. Things like taking the time to cook, and tidy up. Important for sure, and will start to affect my overall mood and motivation levels… but I didn’t really get much solid work done. I lost over half my health, and almost died getting to level two.
It’s really hard to look at what I did, and not focus on what I didn’t do. I’m still judging myself pretty hard for the parts I didn’t do and feel like I’m only doing the easy stuff to get what I want. Of course some adjustments to rewards over time should help with that… but I want everything to be perfect now damn it… if only reality worked that way.
I don’t know if I should be more relaxed with myself, be happy for what I did do, realize what time of year it is, and give myself a break… or if I should be tougher on myself and crack that whip.
If nothing else, at least I’m getting xp and gold for writing this.
Today I feel Joyful (yellow).
7-11 started selling my favorite popcorn again! For those that don’t understand… this popcorn can turn any bad day into a good day with one bite. After the bag is done, nothing is bad anymore. The end.
Today I feel Amused (yellow).
I had the strangest dream. There were these plant monsters that were attacking, and so I calmly went to a store to get some weed killer spray. The old woman who lived on the top floor of the shop asked if I was going to live in one of the apartments again. One of the floors had a lot of fish and aquarium equipment for sale. I started thinking to myself that I should move back into the apartment there, and maybe get a job helping with the shop. That way I could spend a lot of time taking care of all the fish. By this point I seemed to have forgotten the plant monsters wreaking havoc somewhere. I guess they weren’t that scary since a spray bottle could take them out.
Today I feel Inspired (yellow and light green mixed).
I stumbled across some YouTube videos with clips from a show called What Would You Do?
In this show, actors will play out something in public that presses a social issue of some kind. One example was this video where a “mother” was strictly controlling the food her “daughter”. This got into a lot of body image issues, and sure enough people in the restaurant spoke up for the little girl. Interesting was when they switched child actors for a “son” it was a lot more accepted.
Anyway, watching some of these clips and seeing people stand up for strangers filled me with a sense of admiration (light green) and joy (yellow). My favorite video for the day:
Today I’m feeling pretty Happy (yellow).
For the most part I was able to put yesterday behind me, and take advantage of my unexpected vacation day.
Didn’t do much, but I did work out a little. Then had a great time going to hang out with a great group of people in an LGBTQ+ community. It’s my second or third time going, and this time I had a plus one with me.
Played some euchre for the first time in a long time, after teaching a bunch of people. Spreading Michigan card games all over the world. Helped to have another GVSU alum there who probably also spent oh so many college hours playing that game.
And I ate 18″ of subway to make up for my loss yesterday, and I was just really hungry… I’m still kind of hungry actually. I wonder what color hungry is… it’s not really an emotion by itself, but I’m going to go with blue since hungry people are usually sad.