For this special post, I’m going to talk about something that makes me feel Fear (dark green).
As part of some personal research on the integration of personality types and emotions, I took some time to explore the Enneagram. This was very popular among my peers in college, and is the topic of a very good friend’s PhD dissertation. Here are some helpful links:
The Enneagram Institute:
After taking several online tests (all the free ones I could find), I narrowed down which type I was to a few. Looked up their long explanations and still wasn’t sure… then I saw a basic chart on Wikipedia. Just from the “Basic Fear” and “Basic Desire” categories, it was very easy to see that I was a Type 2 (The Helper). There is of course a lot more to this (obviously there are more than just nine kinds of people), but at least to start with I can begin here.
The basic fear of a Type 2 is “Being Unloved”.
The times in my life where I experienced the greatest levels of fear, were when I felt I might be losing my best friends. It happened at two different times, and for different reasons… and actually I was never at risk of losing them so much as just a perception… but that perception caused levels of stress and nightmares (literally) that were at least on the same level as fear and stress experienced in a war zone. In some ways the fear was greater.
This wasn’t really news to me. I have been studying my internal workings for a long time now, but it’s interesting to look into from a more academic perspective.
This fear is still present in my life now. Although I have much more experience dealing with this fear in healthy ways, it is still one of the main sources of stress in my life that I strive to (and most of the time succeed to) keep in balance.
If you don’t know what your greatest fears in life are, I suggest trying to identify them through one of these typing systems, or just through your own self exploration. Knowing them in an articulate way is half the battle of fighting them.
I do plan to continue delving into this personality typing system from the light of emotions, so stay tuned. After I also want to get into the Myers & Briggs personality typing system, and one other that involves a lot of color imagery… if I can find it again.