The adventure has begun! Quests have been accepted! Avatars have been damaged!
Today I feel a mix of Contempt (purple and red mixed) and Joy (yellow).
On one had, I got a lot of things done today. Dishes, some backed up recycling, and some admin stuff for work. Most of the habits I’m trying to work on (or keep going) are in the green. I gained a level, and got some gold. I assigned an amount of gold that an hour of “Reward Time” costs, and spent all of it. Now that I know how much gold I get in a day, I need to adjust that cost a bit, but overall it’s like a budget of time. I still worry a bit that getting left out of the monster fighting part might leave me bored with the game all too soon, but it’s on a good start.
On the other hand… all the things I did were things taking care of my general life and home. Things like taking the time to cook, and tidy up. Important for sure, and will start to affect my overall mood and motivation levels… but I didn’t really get much solid work done. I lost over half my health, and almost died getting to level two.
It’s really hard to look at what I did, and not focus on what I didn’t do. I’m still judging myself pretty hard for the parts I didn’t do and feel like I’m only doing the easy stuff to get what I want. Of course some adjustments to rewards over time should help with that… but I want everything to be perfect now damn it… if only reality worked that way.
I don’t know if I should be more relaxed with myself, be happy for what I did do, realize what time of year it is, and give myself a break… or if I should be tougher on myself and crack that whip.
If nothing else, at least I’m getting xp and gold for writing this.