Today I feel Bittersweet (yellow and blue mixed).
At first I couldn’t decide what feeling I wanted to write about today. On the bus ride home I started to write on my phone about a neutral feeling. While not in any kind of extreme, I can think of a time today when I have felt each and every individual color, and most of the mixes too.
There are things in my life I want to make better. There is a direction I want to go. Some of you have heard me say this before. I view my life like a painting. Everything that has ever happened has left unique colors. If I look at the painting now, it really is amazing. I am so blessed to have the experiences that fill that painting.
Somehow the painting seems to have infinite space, and not matter how much life I experience, there are still a few parts of the painting that are grey. I continue to search for the perfect colors to fill those areas.
Right now, there is a lot of change around me. Change in friendships, family, work, and more. I know these changes are necessary to bring new colors into my painting, like the changes themselves are the primer being put down. So, I am grateful for the changes and I try to let this idea bring serenity (yellow) to my life. But, it doesn’t change the fact that some things are just sad (blue). No matter what good comes because of sad moments, those moments are still… just sad. And that’s okay. So today I find myself feeling both.
These bittersweet colors swirled together today. But, rather than a shade of green fear, yellow and blue have made a full rainbow. For today, it’s enough.